Modern Polymathism

Check out Cato University 2009!

Check out Cato University 2009!

The Very Model of a Modern Libertarian

I needed a creative outlet tonight, so I thought I'd write a parody of the Major General's Song

Enjoy & give me some feedback.

        "I am the very model of a modern libertarian"

	I am the very model of a modern libertarian
	I don't believe in many laws 'cause that's authoritarian
	I know the founding fathers, and I quote their thoughts from memory
	From Washington to Jefferson, that's always my trajectory

	I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters economical
	I understand the models, both the Keynesian and classical
	About Austrian theorem - those moderns seem to quite appall
 	With many jabbing articles all poking fun at Dr. Paul

	With many jabbing articles all poking fun at Dr. Paul
 	With many jabbing articles all poking fun at Dr. Paul
 	With many jabbing articles all poking fun at Dr. Paul

	I'm very good at rhetoric and criticizing neo-cons
	I'll tell you of their treachery and treasonous mal goings-on
	In short, in matters which I deem to be authoritarian 
	I am the very model of a modern libertarian

	In short, in matters which I deem to be authoritarian 
	I am the very model of a modern libertarian

	I've read required books, from Atlas Shrugged down to The Fountainhead
	I know that homeless people don't deserve a piece of moldy bread
	I vote down job training and welfare without a sense of irony
	I hate those lazy slobs – what have they ever done for me?

	I'm doomed to be frustrated over ev'ry law that's ever passed
	It seems the constitution, at this rate, will probably never last
	I hate the major parties, both Republicans and Democrats
	No matter which you vote for, you always get the same ol' rats

	No matter which you vote for, you always get the same ol' rats
	No matter which you vote for, you always get the same ol' rats
	No matter which you vote for, you always get the same ol' rats

	I joined the Free State Project and keep up with all Seastead guys
	But if someday I see them, I will very truly be surprised 
	In short, in matters which I deem to be authoritarian 
	I am the very model of a modern libertarian


	In short, in matters which I deem to be authoritarian 
	I am the very model of a modern libertarian

	In fact, when we can find a proper presidential candidate
	When we do in more in government than sit there and just bitch at it
	When cable airs our story for more than laughing sake
	And when our platform looks a little clearer than opaque
	
	When we have learnt what progress that been made in modern votery
	When we have more party members than the sum of local Rotary
	In short, when I can get the nod from Cato to quicken my pace
	You'll say a better libertarian has never run a race
	
	You'll say a better libertarian has never run a race
	You'll say a better libertarian has never run a race
	You'll say a better libertarian has never run a race

	For my campaign skills, though I'm passionate, commendably 
	Our party size has seemingly increased all undetectably
	But still in matters which I deem to be authoritarian 
	I am the very model of a modern libertarian

	But still in matters which I deem to be authoritarian 
	I am the very model of a modern libertarian

12 Reasons Why Thomas Friedman Sucks

So, after I got my iPhone recently, I've been able to listen to audiobooks in the car to replace my lack of reading - very welcome. As I was going through some torrents I found Thomas Friedman's "Hot, Wet, and Crowded", and I thought why not - it could be interesting.

I've read the dead-tree versions of both the "Lexus and the Olive Tree" and "The World is Flat", and I actually enjoyed those books, but I have to say that after getting half the way through it I have only one conclusion: Thomas Friedman sucks. It could be that the reader is kind of smug sounding, but the wording is all Friedman (at least we're supposed to believe). I started saying the reasons he sucks out loud, and I couldn't keep track of them - so I figure a blog post would get it out of my system. Here goes...

1. He's too sure of himself. - This guy never says "maybe" or "could", it's always "will" or "should". A good non-fiction author, in my opinion (see Tom, I'm trying to be objective), approaches the topic like a scientist presenting a fair view of both sides - especially in political writing. Friedman's books seem (there I go again...) like extended rants with ample footnotes.

2. Smugness - Tom loves to look down on people. The one redeeming factor is that he seems to literally look down on everyone. He's an equal opportunity asshole. I've seen him smugify leftists and conservatives (especially). It seems like Friedman isn't afraid to show he lives in an Ivory bubble.

3. Dumb little theories - I cringe when I have to hear another damn "law" that this dude pulled out of his ass. Stuff like the "Golden Arches Theory" - which was proved wrong - is one reason why a journalist shouldn't act like he can make real contributions to an actual field like geo-politics.

4. Stupid term coining - Along with the previous one, this basically enjoys modifying the English language for his own amusement. I'm wondering if he's just trying to see how many people start using terms like the "Environmental Climate Era" in their daily speech. I really hope a real publication like "Foreign Affairs" never stoops this low.

5. Crap analogies - You don't need to make analogies for something that's already easy to understand. I can see some tongue-in-cheek examples some of the time, but you're over applying this brand of seasoning.

6. His books exploit known trends - Yea, they all do, but when I saw he had a new book on environmentalism I knew this dude just writes to enrich his ego and fatten his wallet. The books are pretty much rehashes of the same concepts anyway. It's like that powerpoint you keep adapting to fit any situation.

7. Faux-cosmopolitan / intellectualism - Neat Mr. F, you quote some unknown poet and then relate it to the building explosion of the UAE - why should I care? Adding a bunch of neat quote isn't covering up your books' serious lack of intellectual honesty.

8. Name dropping - Yea, we get it Tom... You get to travel around meeting with the Crown Prince of WhoGivesaStan, and we get to buy your crap books carrying all their PR by proxy. While it's neat to know who the deputy of road maintenance for Qatar is, it seems like you're just showing off.

9. Rehashed BS "Plans" - When Friedman recommends his course of action, it's usually blatantly obvious or just mash-ups of other plan - all with much inconsistency. On the one hand, you talk about how we have to be tolerant of other nations - then you approve of US nation building.

10. He's gullible - Yet, he acts like he's the wizard of foreign policy. I'm sure the Saudi ruling family is going to give you, a reporter, the inside scoop of what they really feel. I remember you talking about a Middle East leader who had a copy of a letter in his desk that spelled out peace between the Arabs and Israel. Do you really think that this just happened to be there, Tom?

11. Shameless self-quoting - He's always talking about his other books, works, etc. That's not how to build a proper case TF.

12. Fake musing - He's always ends up saying "I thought to myself...[insert any obvious conclusion drawn from a stupid happenstance]". Does he want us to believe he sits around pondering the topic, and having insights of brilliance? They're lame Tom & overused.

There's a lot more - add them in the comments!